1. here I am with a cat

     
  2. cut a bunch of my hair off

     

  3. Kaitlin parked her car and I got out about thirty seconds before she did, which was just enough time for me to notice a squirrel with a big lesion on its side. Also it’s important to note that the squirrel was making very meaningful eye contact at me. So I did what anyone would do and I said “Kait, do you have any food I can give this squirrel?”. There was a couple a few feet away from me playing with a dog and I guess I said the first word too softly so they heard “Hey, do you have any food I can feed this squirrel?”. So what they saw was some mid-twenties girl get out of a car, look sadly in their direction and ask them for food that she could feed a squirrel.

     
  4. Blaze it, Luigi

     

  5. "

    Lying is the best and often also the most ethical way to get a job.
    For $150, this guy bought a fake résumé & callable references in an industry he’s never worked in. And got hired:

    For a small fee, CareerExcuse.com promises to not only craft an elaborate lie based on your exact job specifications but to see it through for as long as necessary. The site will provide a live HR operator and staged supervisor, along with building and hosting a virtual company website—complete with a local phone number and toll-free fax. CareerExcuse will even go so far as to make the fake business show up on Google Maps.

    William Schmidt started the site in 2009, after being let go from his job in a round of layoffs during the lowest depths of the recession.

    “While we were all unemployed, a couple of my former coworkers asked me to act as their reference for job interviews,” Schmidt recalled. “I did it for free for my friends, but then I realized that this is some there’s a pretty big demand for. It was something I could take to the public.”

    He was right. Within the first 24 hours of launching the CareerExcuse site, Schmidt had already received multiple order for his services. He’s quick to brush off ethical concerns, citing horror stories from his clients about being mistreated by their former employers (and thus being unable to acquire a reference) and noting that it becomes more difficult to land a job the longer someone’s been unemployed.

    Employment is a racket. So is college.

    "
    — May May (x)

    Well it looks like I’m going to be a surgeon after all

    (Source: fatsexybitch, via tinatinabrown)

     
  6. (Source: yungterra, via prettynitsrik)

     

  7. If you ever want to steal my identity my important documents are scattered around my house in very clever hiding places that I can never remember

     
  8. sissyspacetits:

    I love mommy bloggers

    How’d you find my blog

     
  9. Well excuse me

     

  10. I work for a cabinet factory.  I’m in the finishing department.  I wake up at five and leave at a quarter until six.  Every day for the past two weeks I have been giving a coworker a ride because I want to be a generous person who does nice things, and I resent giving my coworker a ride because I am not by nature a generous person who does nice things.

    I like having a structure and a boss.  I am there at a time and I do what someone tells me until I leave.  I am an unimportant speck of meat. This makes me happy.  I have no burden of authority and I can disappear the second I want to.

    I do not like that there is only a loosely designed hierarchy that’s not implemented well.  Since my departmental head has been there for less than two years, most of my team mates in the department (who have been there 10+ years) won’t listen to a word he says.   

    Marsha knew we can’t have drinks at our tables (OSHA mandated) and when she was caught with a drink at her table she got in trouble.  And it really pissed her off. She spent the next hour or so walking around to everyones table, waiting for them to look up and acknowledge her and say “you know what fuckin’ pisses me off?” and tell them about how unfair it was that she got in trouble for this thing that we’ve been explicitly reminded not to do.

    Today, I watched one coworker drop a big ziplock baggie of weed into another coworkers drawer.  Later, the second coworker gave the first a big bundle of money.  

    Marsha’s ulcer is acting up.  Marsha starts every day with a coffee flavored monster energy drink.  Marsha offers advice and it is almost always wrong and will usually get me in trouble.  Marsha refuses to listen to our department head.  Marsha will contradict everything he’s said the second he’s two feet away.  Marsha’s been there fifteen years.